Some people are queer. Some people are kinky. Some people are queer and kinky. But is anyone ever queer because she’s kinky? What if her kink upholds heteronormativity— does that even count as sexually deviant, which is the operational definition of ‘kinky’?
What I’m really asking here is the definition of both ‘queer’ and ‘sexual deviance’— does queer only connote some amount same-sex attraction and gender variance, or is any sort of sexual or gender deviance enough? Also, do all kinks count as sexually deviant? What do you all think?
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What was once going to be an essay has, over several months, transformed into more of an extended question. I used to think I knew enough theory to be able to untangle kinkiness from queerness, but now I am not so sure. Here’s what I do know: it’s appropriative for me personally to identify as queer because I’m kinky, but I’m open to the possibility that a sexually submissive male who’s into ‘sissification’ can be queer for that reason, to give one example. I also know that the defining factor of queerness in opposition to kinkiness is *not* visibility; kinkiness is sometimes visible when one is walking down the street with hir partner, while queerness may not be. To an extent, the difference is one of privilege, though the privileges that both groups lack overlap to a surprising extent.
With all that in mind, I’ll ask again: can kinky be queer? Does it have to be? How or why?
